1 year off this Month

I am finally reaching One year off this month!

One thing I didn't like when I was in withdrawal is never finding much info out about people who has tapered off, especially when they had horrible acute withdrawal. I had to assume that they got off and went on with their lives or went back on the drug.

Tapering was tedious and it was challenging but what the so called benzo gurus out there never talk about is the after the taper healing and things.

There is an after taper symptoms and it makes sense that there is. Healing takes time. The good news that I might have had symptoms after tapering, but they were never worse than my best day while tapering. Healing seemed faster.  I was not worried about not healing or had any anxiety about it.

The challenges I have now is where do I go from here. What do I want to do? Things like that. That seems very easy compared to when I was tapering and in withdrawal.

I am so happy that I did the following during my taper.
1. Tapered very slowly. .0005mg - .001mg a day reductions.
2. Took the time during the taper to take it easy and take care of myself.
3. Didn't give into the fear and anxiety and just kept on my plan.
4. Learned what things to avoid to not interfere with my taper (OTC meds, vitamins and foods).

I only regret that I did not learn of all this years ago. I feel like I wasted a very large chunk of my life taking this drug. Not feeling real emotions and being numb to everything around me.

My life is so much better now. But there is adjustments. My likes and dislikes are different. Some things I liked when medicated I am not interested in and I am gaining interest in other things. It is really strange. Even my taste in music is different.

My relationships have changed. I have deeper relationships with deeper meaning and I feel joy with them.

My everyday does not feel like everyday to me, still a year out and I enjoy everyday and am so thankful for that day. Another day I get to live without the yoke of klonopin or withdrawal keeping me pushed down. 

I am so aware of what klonopin did to me and I am so glad that I am finally off. I am still gobsmacked at how this all happened to me and others.

My family and friends are amazed at my changes. As one said I was like a whole new person. 

But this whole thing was so traumatic to me that I still feel traumatized. And now I keep running into people who take these types of medications and I just know what is going to happen to them. I'm sad for them. I try to explain and they do not understand or think I had a rare reaction to it and they think they will be fine.

I have run into friends that are just starting to realize that things are wrong with their klonopin pill and are now facing withdrawal. It breaks my heart.

All one has to do is feel acute withdrawal for 10 minutes and they will be on the side of tapering and leaving this drug alone.

What I find important in the afterwards of tapering besides the physical symptoms, is really jumping on working on memory problems that come with this. I do this by doing simple things, reading novels, taking a class on something you want to do, nothing serious just something maybe fun. Word games and puzzles always help.

Little by little the memory gets better. I am not all the way back on this but I hope I will be one day.

Another thing is working on my immune system and digestive system.

I can't underestimate exercise. I think that exercise has helped me so much.

The physical side was long, I had the tendon pain that caused frozen shoulders and that lasted along time. I have a slight twinge in my left shoulder. And my energy is not quite at 100 percent. that is all that I feel now! How great is that!

My hair has grown in! Slowly! I have to have it trimmed every so often so that one day my hair regrowth will be even with my hair. It is still somewhat dry but not like back when I was in withdrawal. I don't have to run out and buy all these special hair products.

I realize that some people will have it easier than me and some will have it harder.  But if done carefully and safely it will be over one day and it is so worth it.